James 4:1-3: “1 What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.”
For couples to work things out they need to start with this simple concept: COMMUNICATION, CONSIDERATION, CONTROL
And this simple exercise. Each one, independent of the other, write out 3 columns the following:
Column 1: What are you desiring from God, your husband/wife, others?Column 2: What am I getting?Column 3: How am I responding?